Katrina's profileI am a mum of 4....PhotosBlogListsMore ![]() | Help |
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July 18 My Boy Alex...Hi all.
Some of you know ad some of you don't know I have a boy called Alex and that I am having great problems right now. He is a very intelligent boy who loves music and art, PE and anything sporty. He is compassionate, caring and loves his baby brother and sister, almost like his own children. I just wished I could see this more than what I get right now.
I wrote about Sophie a few weeks ago, so I thought, keep tradition and do the next one!
I was working in H.Samuels when I fell pregnant with Alex. I had been in a relationship of sorts with his dad (of which I shan't be naming) for a few months, but it did come as a shock. I had been using the 3 monthly injection and we had been taking further precautions too. Still I was here, sitting in the doctors room going through the same emotions that I'd been through 2 and a half years earlier. My first thought however this time was, 'how will I tell him?' I knew that the relationship we had wasn't serious, just a bit of fun. He wasn't the type of person that I could see heading down the aisle with in the near or distant future. I hadn't even really introduced him to Sophie properly at the time, though she had met him a few times. (I know I sound a slapper, but we had been seeing each other for about 6 months) Anyway, I knew I would have to get the inevitable over and done with, so I told my mum who was the 'see, I told you so' type. I had such a lecture. But now she knew, I asked her to tell him for me. Which she gladly did!
We had agreed to meet up at my home where we could discuss what we were going to do. As I had already decided that this baby was for keeps, I really needed to know where he would be fitting in to all of this. I didn't want the world, just to know if he would be playing a part in the baby's life. After much discussion, tears and a small argument, we were still nowhere closer to any resolution so I decided to make the descision to keep him away. I didn't want my child to have a sporadic relationship, never knowing when and if his dad was going to turn up.
So here I was, 20 and pregnant and alone. Again. All I had was me, my Sophie and this knew little life groing inside me. I knew I was completely out of my mind with worry but I did what every Brit does, get on with things. Though, just before Christmas 2000, I finally gave up working as I was very tired coping as a pregnant mum with little help from anyone.
Alex was a fab pregnancy, I was huge with him! From behind, I didn't look pregnant, but as I turned round, this enormous globe would attack you! Many a time Sophie would get knocked over by her babba as she called my bump, but she loved it nevertherless.
My due date, May 21st came and went, with absoultely no sign of this baby! So me and my best friend Kim decided to go out for the day to the towns Kite Festival. That was on June 3rd. Late that evening, I didn't feel right, so i called on my neighbour and close friend Claire. We were that close that I had asked her to be at the birth as my mum had told me she didn't want to be there again. (I later found out she didn't mean it, but we were both too stubborn to sort things!) Sophie and me stayed with Claire and Phil that night and had a bit of a laugh. We were wondering if it was goin to happen anytime soon. Early in the morning, I started having the familiar pains that I remembered with Sophie. So Claires partner took us to the hospital where at just gone 6 that evening of June 4th 2001, Alex-James arrived. The Simpsons had just started and I was nearly tempted to call him Bart!! He weighed 9lb 8, 2lbs heavier than his sister. Claire cut the cord for me and now here I was, again not knowing how the hell I was going to cope.
Alex and me came home the following day to a very grumpy Sophie. It turned out she was very happy being the only child, and it was insulting to think she had a brother! I don't know why, but I remember looking at this gorgeous new baby boy thinking, 'you're gonna be trouble'. I wish I'd been wrong.
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Over the next 18 months, PND crept back in my life and it was difficult. I'd managed to fall out with most of my neighbours through one thing or another and again I was feeling very alone, but again, I got sorted after a visit to the doctor. But this time, it was hard. Not on my behalf, but I had noticed Alex was a very active baby. As in, he was walking early, never sleeping and NEVER listening. I thought he'd grow out of it, but he never.
When he started school, I finally decided to see a proffessional about him. I knew that the behavior wasn't like other kids, most other kids did behave, even if they didn't at home, they would at school or whatever. After a lot of assessments, he had been diagnosed with 'signs of ADHD' and 'signs of Aspgers'. Thing is with a (non)diagnosis, there is no help. All I had was a leaflet for a parenting course and a list of support lines.
3 years down the line, things are much much worse. It used to just be hyperactiveness, no sleep, things like that. But now, it's escalated to the point of that I am sometimes scared of my beautiful boy. In the last 18 months, we've had him threatening to kill himself, wishing he could stab me (he once got a knife out of the kitchen). He's erratic, doesn't sit still, doesn't concentrate well and hits out at me and others all the time. He continually steals from us and others and has lost a lot of his friends as a result.
I have been to countless courses, doing countless reward charts, time outs, pocket money etc. But if Sophie knows how to behave normally without incentive, why can't Alex? That's if these things work at all! I start positive every day. But it takes just one thing to not go Alex's way and all hell breaks loose.
Like this morning for instance. Him and Rhys were playing with one of those rope lights and they were having a fab time. I had asked, then told Alex he mustn't show Rhys how the plug goes in the socket because Rhys could hurt himself. Then I had to warn him if he did it again, he'd lose out on playing on his Ds and the Wii later. Not even 5 minutes later he was doing it again. so I said he'd lose them. With that, he threw the rope light at me (I was feeding Bethan the 3 month old) and he went to hit me. Then he started smashing up the lounge and just kicking off.
There's only so much I can do now and only so much more I can take. I love this boy so very much, and I want him to be happy. Thankfully, we are waiting for a reassessment. Alex will also be getting counselling in September and we will be getting some home help 3 hours a week so Alex and I can rebuild our relationship. I'll let you know how we get on
xx July 01 Can't Believe I've Been a Mum For Over 11 Years.......Hi everyone, it is a bit of a memory lane visit here, so bear with me!!
I have been a mum for 11 years, 3 months and 7 days, not that I'm counting! My litle girl is on her way to secondary school for the next phase of her education in September. I'm not even 30 yet! She's still tiny, and by tiny, she's still able to wear some 3-4yr tops! She's just 122cm tall, but my word she has the atitude of ant teen!
Way back when I was 17 and just given birth to my baby girl Sophie did I ever think that there'd be 4. I never thought I'd be having one baby for goodness sake! When I had fallen pregnant, it had been a bit of a shock. At 16, I was on the pill, but I was naive and never thought to read the leaflets that accompany medications such as antibiotics. My GP had neglected to tell me either, thinking that I was still a kid. Still, now it had happened, I knew that there was no alternative in my mind, I was keeping this baby. Sophie's dad and I split up during the pregnancy, amicably enough, but he played no part in the rest of the pregnancy or the birth. I was pretty much alone, apart from an overbearing mother. Still, I gave birth to Sophie Louise and I got on with it.
It was tough. I knew it would be, but I didn't expect the dark feelings and the resentment I sometimes felt to this beautiful little baby I had produced. I always loved her and always will. But at the time I was in a scary place called Postnatal Depression. I didn't know about this, nor did I think I was ill. I thought I wasn't normal so I did my best to make out I was 'normal'. More and more I would not open the curtains, not bother to get out of bed even, I'd only just manage to egt out of bed to keep Sophie fed and clean. I didn't care about myself, I didn't't want to do this 'mum' thing anymore. I felt dead inside. Even her smile had not had it's effect on me. The only time we did venture out or clean was when my mother wanted us to visit or we went to hers.
Sophie was 15 months when Social Services knocked on the door. It was a wet, miserable Tuesday afternoon and I was getting ready to see the doctor as I had a chest infection. There was the social worker and a child protection officer adn they asked to speak to me. I answered all their questions truthfully. It was just then thtat it had clicked that I was actually ill. The social worker who had seen me suggested that I also speak to the GP about how I was feeling. I was so scared they were going to take Sophie away from me, but they never. In fact they did all they could to help me cope better with things.
Eventually, the medication kicked in and I was able to enjoy my little girl again. I even decided that I wanted to go to work for the first time. I managed to get a lovely job selling in the retail chain H.Samuel in January 2000. Itwas a new millenium, new start kinda thing. I loved that job! I found that chatting the hind legs off a donkey was a good sales technique and more often than not, I could make a sale 20% higher than the person originally wanted to spend. I'll never forget one sale I had. It was this lovely guy in his twenties who wanted to buy his beloved a platinum solitaire. He wanted something simple but elegant. His original budget was £500. After an hour of looking at rings, he still couldn't decide. He asked me what I would want, if money was no object, so I joked somethin from Tiffany's! But as I wanted a sale, I showed him a new ring that we only had in a week, It was a beautiful princess cut solitaire ring selling at £950. It was beautiful in my eyes. I said that I thought it was beautiful. Anyway, he left, and I was miffed. But 20 minutes he'd come back, with cash and brought it there and then!!! This couple are still together now, married and a baby on the way!
I left the job I loved in the November of that year as I was ill with my new pregnancy. But that's a story for another day.....
Thanks for reading, I'm gonna do some more of these over the next few weeks. Please feel free to comment!!
Trina xxx June 22 Well Here I am Again!Well Hi one and all,
I am officially back on Spaces!
I just wrote a blog about the birth of Bethan, feel free to have a read! If you're wondering where I have been, I shall explain. If you couldn't care less, tough, why are you still reading?! lol
Basically, I think the last time I blogged was last Sep/Oct. I'd just found out I was pregnant again, soon after Rhys. The pregnancy was making me really tired and I just didn't have the brain capacity to write a blog. I just managed my facebooking as I used my mobile phone the majority of the time!
In November, Marv and I decided we finally had to move from Basingstoke. I'd had enough with the family quarrels and being in between the local pub and shop. It was getting me down, we had no privacy and the kids weren't safe playing out. I just wanted to have a better opportunity for them to what I had as a kid. The opportunity arised for us to move to a small village near the Newbury. We jumped at the chance! After Christmas, we decided to move as soon as we could. After sorting out the paper work,we agreed that the beginning of Feb would be the best sort of time as it would give me time to sort out the maternity car for the rest of my pregnancy. Little did we know the weekend we were moving, it decided to have a flippin snowstorm!!
We went ahead, despite the atrocious weather. Due to me being heavily pregnant by now, it was decided that I would go to a friends for the day with the kids and let the men sort everything out. I am so glad I had done, even when I arrived at my new home, I could see there was so much still left to do!
That was nearly 5 months ago now! We are all settled in and the kids go to a village school, in the next village, and we have already made one or 2 really good friends. My family have realised that although I am no longer in Basingstoke, I do still care about them, I just wont be getting involved in the petty squabbles anymore, At the beginning, I never thought they'd be speaking to us again as they were totally against the move, said we were abandoning them, that we didn't care, etc. They can now see why we moved. As it turns out, just last week there was 3 stabbings at the local pub I used to live next to.
The only sad thing that has happened since I moved are to do with my two cats, Bailey and Marmite. A month after we moved in, he refused to enter our house anymore (still don't know for sure why) and he now lives next door with her other 7 cats. Then 3 weeks ago, I put Bailey out for the eveing and that's the last we've seen of her. She has never gone missing in the 4 years she's been alive, and it doesn't look so good :(
I'll be back in the next few days or so with some new pictures, but in the mean time, most fo you guys can see the pics on my Facebook, where they are regualrly uploaded!
Please pop in and say hi to me!
Love to all.
Trina xxx The Birth Of Baby Bethan 25/04/2009I finally had my little girl on 25th April! The week preceding the big event was very hard for me. Over the course of the week, I'd been getting pains, but nothing had happened. Finally, late on Friday April 25th, the pains I were getting were proper labour pains. But of course, now, I didn't believe it was happening. So I ignored it and went to bed to watch telly. when I realised these pains were regular, I decided to call the maternity unit and they said don't come til they are less than 10 minutes apart. I decided at 1:30am that it was time to leave as being 15 miles from the hospital and the my sisters (she was looking after the older 3 for me) I was worried that I'd be giving birth next to the A339! We arrived at the maternity unit at 2:30am, at which point everything stopped again!! The midwife suggested we go for a short walk, but I was determined to do a tour of the whole hospital! We (Marv & I!!) walked down 4 flights of stairs which at that point I should have turned round and gone back, and carried on down the very long corridor that leads to the main hospital. I decided that I needed to go back as things actually hurt now!! We eventually managed to get back to my room at 4am. I was now in a lot of pain and demanded my gas and air. I wanted to do the rest of the labour on my front as the pain wasn't so bad. All the time though, I was shouting at the midwife as I didn't think my waters would naturally break! I was demanding a c-section and the midwife just ignored my complaining and said they'd break when they were ready. And boy did I realise! I needed to start pushing, but they still hadn't broken so by now I was freaking out! But, all of a sudden I knew they'd broken! Two minutes, yes TWO minutes later, Bethan's head had popped out!
She was born at 4:49am weighing 7lb 11oz
She's now 12lb and is beautiful! I'll have piccies on here asap xx
October 21 10 Kids & On Benefits! I am DISGUSTED!Now you all know I like a good moan, but I was absolutely furious when I read this! These people need reporting, there's no way he can't work!! Bloody a**ehole!'The credit crunch is great for us!'Monday 13 October 2008
While hard-working families across the country are struggling to cope in the current economic climate, one family is profiting from it. And infuriatingly, their lifestyle is totally funded by the taxpayer. Tracey and Harry Crompton and their 10 children live for free in a massive seven-bedroom home (two semi-detached houses knocked through). And they boast that since the credit crunch has forced down prices of many non-essential items, they have even more cash to spend on treats. The family get a whopping £32,656 a year in benefits, which they use in part for their utility bills. And while the majority of parents are already dreading finding extra money for Christmas, the jobless couple proudly show off £3,000 worth of presents they bought and wrapped weeks ago. “We’re not stupid enough to wait until the last minute to buy our Christmas presents,” boasts Tracey, 40, from Hull. “The shops put the prices up a month before Christmas Day so we get in early. The credit crunch has meant the prices have dropped even further on luxury things like electrical goods, so we’ve been able to buy loads more than usual. “I’m not satisfied with the benefits we get – I want more. I haven’t been able to work because I’ve had to bring up the kids and Harry’s got health problems.” Despite their parents’ unemployment, Michael, 20, Robin, 19, Matthew, 17, Sarah, 16, Samantha, 14, Harry Andrew, 12, Alex, 11, Kristian, nine, Jesse Lee, seven, and Joshua, six, will each unwrap a £100 Nintendo DS games console, as well as several other goodies. The eldest will get £100 in cash too. “We like to splash out at Christmas and so far we’ve spent around £3,000 on it,” smiles Tracey. “We’ll probably spend more too.” As they don’t work, the couple have plenty of time on their hands, so much of it is spent growing their own vegetables and tending to their chickens and geese (one of which will be Christmas dinner) in their 270ft-long garden. They even make their own wine. “I’m a dab hand at it now,” says 50-year-old Harry, who has been out of work for 15 years. He cites angina and irritable bowel syndrome as the reason, even though he admits to spending hours tending the family’s vegetable patch. “I make red and white wine from grapes grown in the garden. The best by far is my elderflower wine,” he says. Much of the family’s benefits goes on luxury gadgets and toys. They have a PC, a laptop, numerous games consoles, including two PlayStations and two Xboxes, a DVD player, a video recorder, three TVs, a hi-fi music player, and their vast garden is equipped with a slide and 15ft trampoline. Each child also carries around their own high-tech mobile phone so their parents can contact them at any time. “I rarely go without things either. If I need something, like a new pair of shoes, then I’ll get it. I don’t have a dishwasher though, Harry is my dishwasher!” Shockingly, the freeloading family seem unaware that the rest of the country is struggling financially. Tracey proudly says: “We don’t have money worries. We don’t go without things and I think that’s because we are self-sufficient. We grow our own food. I don’t see why others should have money worries. We keep 25 chickens, for eggs and meat, and grow potatoes and loads of vegetables. We make our own biscuits and cakes too.” Despite their “Good Life” lifestyle, the family still spend £250 a week at the supermarket buying 50 bags of crisps, five family packs of chocolate biscuits and 10 litres of fizzy drinks, among other things. Each night, Tracey, who has been married to Harry for 22 years, will cook dinners such as spaghetti Bolognese, spinach carbonara or chicken curry. She spends up to two hours making it and then serves the food in two sittings. The family’s £120-a-week rent is covered by housing benefit and they rake in £628 a week in benefits, including income support, disability allowance, carer’s allowance and non-working family tax credits. A working parent would have to earn £46,500 a year before tax and National Insurance to bring home the same amount. But the only wage earner in the house is oldest son Michael, 20, who contributes £15 a week from his £13k factory job. Matthew, 17, is training to be a chef and Robin is currently unemployed. Surprisingly, the family seem bemused by the reaction they get from the local community, who shout abuse at them. “Every time I walk down the street, people shout ‘scroungers,’” moans Tracey. Although Tracey has never had a job, she says life’s too short to do housework. Their walls are splattered with dirt and wallpaper is peeling from the weight of the grime. The mantelpiece is strewn with magazines, DVDs, and videos, and the floor has been bare since the carpet was pulled up and thrown away after a flood two years ago. “I don’t have much time for cleaning since I started a college course in catering,” she says. “But I only go two mornings a week – any more and they’d stop my benefits because they’d classify me as in education. "I’m really nervous about what will happen at the end of my course. I’ve never worked and so it would be scary to think I would have to get a job. It would have to be a very well--paid job to pay more than the benefits.” By Lisa Woollard (taken from Closer 18-24 Oct, 2008) |
I am a mum of 4....NOTHING scares me!!
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