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July 01 Can't Believe I've Been a Mum For Over 11 Years....... Hi everyone, it is a bit of a memory lane visit here, so bear with me!!
I have been a mum for 11 years, 3 months and 7 days, not that I'm counting! My litle girl is on her way to secondary school for the next phase of her education in September. I'm not even 30 yet! She's still tiny, and by tiny, she's still able to wear some 3-4yr tops! She's just 122cm tall, but my word she has the atitude of ant teen!
Way back when I was 17 and just given birth to my baby girl Sophie did I ever think that there'd be 4. I never thought I'd be having one baby for goodness sake! When I had fallen pregnant, it had been a bit of a shock. At 16, I was on the pill, but I was naive and never thought to read the leaflets that accompany medications such as antibiotics. My GP had neglected to tell me either, thinking that I was still a kid. Still, now it had happened, I knew that there was no alternative in my mind, I was keeping this baby. Sophie's dad and I split up during the pregnancy, amicably enough, but he played no part in the rest of the pregnancy or the birth. I was pretty much alone, apart from an overbearing mother. Still, I gave birth to Sophie Louise and I got on with it.
It was tough. I knew it would be, but I didn't expect the dark feelings and the resentment I sometimes felt to this beautiful little baby I had produced. I always loved her and always will. But at the time I was in a scary place called Postnatal Depression. I didn't know about this, nor did I think I was ill. I thought I wasn't normal so I did my best to make out I was 'normal'. More and more I would not open the curtains, not bother to get out of bed even, I'd only just manage to egt out of bed to keep Sophie fed and clean. I didn't care about myself, I didn't't want to do this 'mum' thing anymore. I felt dead inside. Even her smile had not had it's effect on me. The only time we did venture out or clean was when my mother wanted us to visit or we went to hers.
Sophie was 15 months when Social Services knocked on the door. It was a wet, miserable Tuesday afternoon and I was getting ready to see the doctor as I had a chest infection. There was the social worker and a child protection officer adn they asked to speak to me. I answered all their questions truthfully. It was just then thtat it had clicked that I was actually ill. The social worker who had seen me suggested that I also speak to the GP about how I was feeling. I was so scared they were going to take Sophie away from me, but they never. In fact they did all they could to help me cope better with things.
Eventually, the medication kicked in and I was able to enjoy my little girl again. I even decided that I wanted to go to work for the first time. I managed to get a lovely job selling in the retail chain H.Samuel in January 2000. Itwas a new millenium, new start kinda thing. I loved that job! I found that chatting the hind legs off a donkey was a good sales technique and more often than not, I could make a sale 20% higher than the person originally wanted to spend. I'll never forget one sale I had. It was this lovely guy in his twenties who wanted to buy his beloved a platinum solitaire. He wanted something simple but elegant. His original budget was £500. After an hour of looking at rings, he still couldn't decide. He asked me what I would want, if money was no object, so I joked somethin from Tiffany's! But as I wanted a sale, I showed him a new ring that we only had in a week, It was a beautiful princess cut solitaire ring selling at £950. It was beautiful in my eyes. I said that I thought it was beautiful. Anyway, he left, and I was miffed. But 20 minutes he'd come back, with cash and brought it there and then!!! This couple are still together now, married and a baby on the way!
I left the job I loved in the November of that year as I was ill with my new pregnancy. But that's a story for another day.....
Thanks for reading, I'm gonna do some more of these over the next few weeks. Please feel free to comment!!
Trina xxx Comments (5)
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